Beginning of August thoughts

I’ve had a rough July, and I am so thankful it is over. It was simultaneously a fast-going endeavor along with being the most tormentous slow time. I am finding work to be such a stressor. This past week I had a nightmare about it – that hasn’t happened since probably during my first “professional” job out of grad school. I reached out for support and am waiting for their response.

I made the decision today to delete the social media apps off my phone and see if a digital detox might help in improving my mental health – I haven’t had an issue lately; if anything, the access brought me comfort and connection to my friends throughout this JoUrNeY with cancer. We’ll see what happens. I feel a feeling (lol) that I am on the precipice of something new and don’t quite know what – maybe a mixture of things.

A creative spark – just wanting to put pen to paper regardlessssssssss of the quality

I’ve had an urge to leave [work mostly because wtfffffff – I want a new job that’s out of this industry]. They told me the previous supervisor left because she just finished her breast cancer treatment and wanted to focus on herself. That was a piece of information that really got me down in the dumps because it made me feel like I was doing the opposite by returning and deciding to stay at this location that causes so much stress. My justification?: health insurance.

I am looking to just get through the week, but I’ve just been living for the weekend. I hope I get some help and support in this role.

In terms of my health, I have been doing better and have made good efforts in addressing my neuropathy and have also made strides with adhering to a routine. I’ve not done great with eating, resting, or stress management. Such is life, I guess, but I just want an McFlurry. Next week I travel for work so I am looking forward to trying new foods but anxious about the trip in terms of being in the midst of coworkers. Just have to make it through – it will be okay.

I’ve started to spend more time with dear friends and it’s made me so happy – I can’t wait to make my rounds with everybody!