Conflicting information and moving forward

It’s been a whirlwind of a time. I came back from a really lovely trip to San Francisco, and I had a great time. I was able to walk throughout the city and navigate my environment. Of course, slowly and with lots of time built into my day. The neuropathy in my feet was intense, but I managed to pull through. It was not without intense pain and issues in the morning or whenever I sat still for longer than 10 minutes. I called the nurses’ office to update them regarding the double dose of the medication. I haven’t felt any relief, and it continues to incapacitate me. I am hitting 10-15k steps daily, so I am happy about maintaining that level of physical activity. The nurse noted that they would like to run more tests, and I went in this morning to get my blood drawn; she noted the possibilities of the issue being related to blood sugar (diabetes related), thyroid issues, or a vitamin b12 deficiency, or just chemo related [but we must do due diligence to rule anything else out – which I wholly appreciate].

It has really felt incredibly tumultuous to receive information, make a decision, and then receive conflicting information, and then undo it all and wait for further instructions. I do understand the issue of timing, and I could and should do more to gather more information, but I also recognize that I must give myself time and protect myself mentally. I just checked my lab portal to see if today’s results had been uploaded, and I happened to read the report from Oct 22 – I noticed a new test result for a tumor marker. There was a within-range reading, but before I figured that out, I did freak out. The kicker here is that the reading for the marker taken at the start of treatment (when I was first diagnosed) was also within range. Isn’t that wild? The results, as I was first diagnosed, were “typical” and would not raise any suspicion. Not a day goes by that I’m not grateful I felt the lump. I fear what would have happened if nothing had occurred in terms of testing or if I had waited longer. I am starting to understand that post-medical intervention (surgery/ chemo/ radiation) will be just as intense. I’m trudging through but I will be able to get through it eventually. I’ll just continue to complain –

That’s it for now – I will write more about my travels later on.