A good mammogran experience 

Yesterday was a bit disappointing, given that my early morning mammogram was rescheduled due to a tech not showing up. I managed okay with the delayed access to answers, and this morning, my mom and I headed to the imaging center to finally complete the mammogram. The experience was nerve-wracking, but the tech was so excellent. She was caring, cheery, and patient. She made me feel comfortable, conversed with me, and noted key details that made me think I was in good hands. The basics, she knew I was 3 months post-surgery and was incredibly gentle and communicative with me. Getting a mammogram is ridiculously painful – no boob should be squeezed that tight – why can’t we get some better ways?! She let me look at the images, and it was trippy. They are smaller, but it was like trying to reacquaint myself with a body part I had no recognition of – it seemed so foreign. It wasn’t recognizable, and all the tissue looked marbled and jumbled.
I guess that happens during a reconstruction surgery, but it didn’t look “natural,” whatever the heck that means. She seems pleased, given that the CT scan reported a mass of 3.5cm, and what showed up on the screen was 1/3 that size. We pondered – I was already resigned to get the worst news – that if it was indeed cancer, that it at least showed a decrease in size, indicating the current chemotherapy has been effective in limiting and reducing the size. However, we waited to see what the doctor would order. She shared her own story with cancer and how it had touched the women surrounding her. She was lovely and I felt seen. I waited in the lobby again with my mom. We waited 30 minutes before another tech emerged, stating that no other clarifying images were needed in terms of mammograms and that the doctor wanted an ultrasound instead. My mom joined me and tried her best to see and peek at the monitor. The tech was informative and patient as she answered my questions.
The small ball moved fluidly and flattened when pressed, a positive in my book, and liquid was likely. We only waited 10 minutes before the tech returned with a smile, stating that this was likely liquid/likely a cyst from surgery, but not a mass that needed biopsy. She noted that the size was decreasing as the body absorbed the liquid, and now that we’re three months post-surgery, that makes sense. The ball did not exhibit the indicators that it was a mass and instead demonstrated the qualities of a cyst/liquid. Gosh, what a sense of relief! I was so happy, and she wished us well on our return home. Mind you, we checked in at 7 am and left the imaging center at 8:45 am. What an ordeal, but I made it back in time to start work.
I am so proud of myself for advocating for this mammogram, and I am glad I could get it done relatively fast. My day proceeded okay, though I did decline in energy, and now I am lying in bed trying to manage the pain. Again, I am upset that the pain management options available to me are limited, but it is what it is, I guess. I managed the acid reflux okay, but I hope to sleep soon and regain some strength to have a pleasant Friday. Words can’t describe just how much I would love a compression massage. I am limited in what I am able to receive, and my body is still so rigid and tight that I am just frustrated. I found this link and wanted to share it with you all – the power of touch cannot be ignored. If this whole cancer journey has highlighted one thing, it is just how touch-deprived I have been throughout my life. I hope to change that.
https://www.mskcc.org/videos/touch-therapy-caregivers
That’s all I got for today.